A Models Guide to Getting Signed.

 SPIRITUAL AWAKENING.

    Have you ever felt like the life you were once living no longer resonated with you? I know for a fact you have felt lonely, sad, and like no one could understand you. I have. Towards the end of 2016 my soul was FED UP. JUST DONE WITH THE BULLSHIT, FAKE ASS MATRIX WE LIVING IN. My soul had enough! I couldn't understand the sadness that was so deep and numbing. I had no idea what was happening to me until I finally got the strength to leave the four walls of my room that I had turned into my safe haven.

   When I finally came out of hiding after a couple of months, everyone was asking me if I was okay. I kept hearing "Makaela you need to eat." What the fuck was everyone talking about? OOHHH! I finally took a good look at myself in the mirror, something I hadn't done in a while. I realized what they were talking about. I went from slim thick weighing 120 pounds, down to 103 pounds in a short amount of time. You can say I looked hungry. LOL. I was. Not only my physical body was hungry, but so was my soul. My soul craved the wisdom and knowledge for a deeper meaning in life. It took me a moment but I realized I was depressed and it was so hard to admit that.

   I had just came back from a successful but a soul challenging summer spent in Los Angeles living my dreams of a model, and I was back at Texas State University to finish up my last year of school. I planned to go ahead and finish my last year of college so I could hurry up and get back to LA to live my dreams full time. So much for a fucking plan. The moment I got to Texas I was challenged like never before. God decided to lay it on me. My mother who is my biggest supported and best friend was experiencing emotional trauma in many areas of her life, so she wasn't really available to be there for me. It felt like she went ghost, and after not being able to come home to Texas all summer and being thousands of miles away from her, I still felt distance between us because I've never been away from my mother for so long in my life and that hurt me.

   This was a time everyone in my family was experiencing hardships so I had to step up and be there for my siblings. At the same time, the man I thought was the love of my life broke up with me unexpectedly the day after my birthday, I was so heartbroken. I felt so abandoned. But God had a plan.

   In that time locked away in my room, I had no idea that I was going through a spiritual awakening. I had to go through that period of loneliness and sadness to dig deep within myself and find out who I really was. I wasn't hungry and my appetite was damn near non-existent. I had no interest of doing anything but writing poetry.

I found myself in my room constantly crying and praying. I made an alter in my room and would light my sage and just pray. Something divine and magical was happening. I began coming across information about meditation, twin flames, other dimensions, and numerology. I didn't question anything because I knew this information was for me. I knew God was speaking to me and I heard loud and clear. I heard God more clearly than I ever had before in my whole life. My senses and intuition were heightened and I could feel my psychic abilities kicking in. The experience was a little freaky at first because I was hearing high pitched frequencies in my ears, I had experiences with birds, and I felt like I was floating through this dimension, like I wasn't fully connected to my body. I now know this was because I wasn't grounded, my energy was scattered.

   These experiences contributed to my loneliness because I felt like no one around me understood what I was going through. And they didn't, because this was my spiritual awakening. One night I was up late because I couldn't sleep, so I went downstairs for some water. I had the urge to turn around and when I did, the clock on the stove read "3:33." I instantly felt this message from the universe pertained to my life's purpose. 

   The next day I was sitting in my living room in silence when a voice popped into my head. "Are you really going to be happy if you stay and finish school?" I instantly replied out loud "HELL NO." I knew what I really wanted was to be in LA living my dreams at THAT moment. "FUCK THAT!" My soul was longing for creative expression. I decided in that moment I wasn't going to go back to school after winter break. I wasn't happy where I was at and I knew exactly what would make me happy. I didn't feel the need to please anyone anymore. I was going to finish school to make my family proud, and to prove to everyone that I could get my degree. Most importantly I wanted to prove to myself and the world that as a black woman I was competent and intelligent enough to acquire my degree. But in that instant a piece of paper didn't mean shit to me. I had three and a half years of schooling and I accrued enough knowledge to last me a lifetime. I basically felt like I had my degree with a semester and an internship left to complete. No one could tell me SHIT. 

   I was anxious to tell my family, but they supported my decision. My parents told me they knew I would be successful with whatever I decided to do with my life. Some friends didn't agree with my decision, but they could never understand my circumstances because we lived different realities and came from different backgrounds. I was listening to the calling of my soul and I had a strong knowing that the new direction I was taking was going to lead me to success.

   Only YOU know what is best for you. Your soul knows exactly where it should be and where it should go, so you shouldn't fight your true calling. Others around you cannot see your vision, and they will not understand your actions and reasons for answering your calling. This is by far one of the biggest challenges along your journey. Learning how to block out others thoughts, opinions, and emotions about you and your life. Truth is, it's no ones fucking business. Leave them to figure out they need to take that energy worrying about you and invest it into finding their true calling. Like Drake said "Don't ever take advice, that was great advice." He is so wise. Listen to Drake, and me. I know what I'm talking about. I only speak of what I know.

-Below are some spiritual awakening symptoms. If you are currently experiencing this, know you are not alone. The angels surround you and there are many others out there experiencing the same things. You are on the way to meeting your highest self.

 SPIRITUAL AWAKENING SYMPTOMS:

• Falling away of the Old Self: As you dig deep to find your true self, you realize things that used to interest you no longer resonate with you. You no longer have a desire to participate in certain hobbies, listen to certain music, or work at the same job.

• Craving More Meaningful and Deeper Relationships: You no longer have the energy to entertain superficial relationships. Small talk no longer interests you. You yearn for more heart connected relationships, deeper conversations, and to be surrounded by individuals who are in touch with themselves and who know what they want in life.

• Change in Diet: As your vibration increases, you begin to become attracted to high vibrational foods. You will realize you no longer crave certain foods. Meat may begin to disgust you as you begin to realize animals have souls as well and understand the torture and abuse they endure. Your body will reject certain foods, and crave more foods that are alive like fruits and vegetables.

• Synchronicities: You begin to understand everything is perfectly orchestrated by the Divine. You are always in the right places at the right time and you meet people who are vibrating on the same frequency as you. The higher your vibration, the more you attract positive experiences, circumstances, and people that benefit you along your journey.

• Numerology: You begin seeing repetitive numbers as this is the angels and your spirit guides communicating with you. Every number holds it's own vibration with a specific meaning. You'll see numbers like 1111, 222, 333, 444, 555, etc.

• You Question Your Purpose: You begin to dig deep within to discover your true purpose, and begin the journey of asking how your presence here on this earth plane will help affect change and heal humanity.

• Attraction to Divination Tools: It's like all of a sudden you are a crystal collector. You want to own all of the crystals you see. People will call them rocks and you will get pissed. They're crystals. You gain interest in angel cards, tarot, sage, and you may gain interest in psychedelics. 

This is my experience. I pray this can help at least one soul along their journey.

Love and light <3

       Namaste,

       Makaela Reve Heard