How To Deal With Depression.

    Depression. Ugh just looking at the word makes me sad as fuck. I'm sure at least one of you can relate. Especially if you are living in the United States, soo many of us deal with depression at least once at some point in our lives. For some people, they have to manage depression everyday. It seems as if depression is a topic that is swept under the rug. We know this to be common especially in the black community. It goes something like "No you are not depressed, you're fine." or "You'll get over it, everything will be okay." And while encouraging words are great, it is way more complicated than that. Depression isn't something you can patch with a band aid hoping that it will heal and go away on it's own. We are depressed when we are out of alignment with who we truly are.We get depressed when traumatic events happen in our lives. We also get depressed when we are in resistance to where we are at in life. These are just a few reasons and I know there's more.There are so many factors that can come into play.

    I studied psychology in college. I learned so much about mental health, I even took a course on Abnormal Psychology that broke down depression and it's different categories. All of that studying and shit was amazing, but I didn't fully understand what I had learned until I experienced depression myself.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH DEPRESSION

(depressed times.)

    Crazy thing is, I had no idea I was depressed until I saw my mother after I hadn't seen her for about two months. I'm sure my frail and tiny frame was the biggest give away. But I know she sensed my pain because my mother is intuitively connected to me in that way and always will be. At the time I was going through major life changes. I was going through the biggest heart break of my life, dealing with family issues where I had to step up my role, and struggling with finishing my semester of college. I had another semester and an internship left to get my degree. But I was completely unhappy after getting a taste of living my dream in LA the summer before I got back to school that semester. My soul was overwhelmed, I felt abandoned, and I didn't know what direction to go in.

    Having to face the fact that I was severely depressed was the hardest thing for me. At first I was in denial, then I analyzed my behavior from the time between then and the previous two months. It clicked for me. I hadn't been myself. From the moment of my break up I cut myself off from the world. I would wake up and the first thing I would do is cry. I would go to school and I could not hold back the tears in class. As soon as I got home from school I would go straight to my room, lock the door, and cry some more. My sadness ran so deep. I wouldn't come out of my room to hang out with my friends. I didn't hang with anyone at that time. When I tried it didn't feel right, I had no energy or focus to talk to anybody. I lost some faith at that time. My happiness was non existent. I was digging myself into a shit hole of sadness. 

    Not only did my behavior change but my appetite changed too. I had no appetite actually. I wasn't hungry anymore. And for me that is not normal because I love eating! Food is my passion. Depression can cause you to overeat or not eat at all. I would take one bite of my food and go upstairs to my room. I spent so much of my time in bed I began losing my muscle mass. I wasn't eating right. I went from from a healthy slim-thick aka slim thiQ 117 lbs to 103 lbs in a matter of two months. The change was so drastic and I didn't even notice how skinny I was until I began to go around more people. Some comments about my weight were extremely insensitive. I heard things like "You need to eat." or "You look anorexic." Comments about my weight made me extremely insecure, an insecurity I had never felt in my life. I wondered how I let myself go like that? How did I not notice what was happening to my body? During those two months I wouldn't even look in the mirror. (so rare lol)I was too unhappy with myself to even notice. That was self neglect at it's finest. I was un-grounded and not fully connected to my body. I swear it's like my soul fled my body because it couldn't handle the conditions I was going through. My aura was scattered, my thoughts and emotions were unbalanced, and I had no sense of direction.

(A very very skinny Makaela at 103 pounds.)

    When you feel deep pain, sometimes you want it to go away. You can't make depression go away with a snap of a finger. In my eyes not even anti-depressants make it go away. Like I've said in my previous article, most meds only mask your symptoms. The meds don't heal you or get to the root of the problem. To heal depression you have to go within and face your traumas to heal them. At the time I dealt with depression I couldn't handle it and I was searching for instant gratification. I wanted the pain to just go away. I am a marijuana smoker. But at the time I began using it excessively. I wasn't using it in a beneficial way. I was trying to use it as a means of masking my pain. I would wake up and smoke. I would smoke throughout the day. I would even wake up out of my sleep to load the pipe and take a hit. But smoking only made my depression worse. Overly smoking made me unproductive. I wasn't doing anything to try and make myself feel better. At that time smoking became a crutch and it was cramping my style. Smh. I love marijuana and I never thought it could be misused. At the time I wasn't using it to be creative, meditate, or to help my anxiety. At the core I know I was using it as an escape from the world, to take me to another one. I do not recommend smoking marijuana if you are depressed.

    You can't run from yourself. In the United States millions of people are medicated and numbed daily due to anxiety and depression. You can choose to take the meds and for some it may really be beneficial and helpful. You can take meds at you're free will. But they seem to be causing more problems than fixing any at all. America faces an opioid epidemic that only ever seems to be getting worse. Some of us may have family members or know someone who abuses substances to escape from their problems or everyday life. It is toxic. There are other ways to heal depression and I will talk about a few later. Many people look at depression as a bad thing. If you look change your perspective you can view it as your soul calling out to you.

  

FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE 

    Depression is your soul crying out to you saying it is no longer in alignment with where you are and who you're trying to be. Your soul is ready to live it's true purpose, grow, and expand. Our souls sometimes become weary and exhausted from living based off of how you think you should be living based off of society's standards, other people's expectations or opinions, or fear of what others might think of you. We are never stuck. When it comes to living our lives based off of why we came here to this earth, we are to be unapologetic about it. Our life purpose has no consideration for other people's opinions, feelings, or your own fears. Fear is an illusion, there is nothing to fear because our lives are already mapped out and written. So in life when we are being mistreated, are in abusive relationships, one sided friendships, or in jobs that don't satisfy us that is when we have to love ourselves the most and say "no." No, you will not surround yourself with people who aren't going to love you unconditionally, see your full potential, or support your growth. You will not work a job that doesn't satisfy your goals. You will choose to surround yourself with loving supportive people who will not judge you. You will chase your dreams no matter the sacrifices you have to make.

    Depression shows us where we are unhappy in our lives. Depression shows us the depths of our souls and the language of our emotions. Facing our shadow side, which is the side of us that is not seen as favorable or positive, isn't easy. When all we can see is what isn't working in our lives, that is the opportunity to eliminate what is no longer serving us, learn our lessons, and never look back. The future is bright. They say when it rains it pours, but the storm doesn't last forever. You're bound to see better weather. You'll see the rainbow again. Endings always lead to new and happy beginnings. When things shift in out lives we tend to feel a void. Nothing ever lasts for long, life goes in cycles.

    Depression isn't to be taken lightly, and it is challenging and painful to deal with. Facing yourself isn't always easy either. With support from loving, understanding, and nurturing family or friends that you can talk to, you can overcome depression. You can overcome anything with the right mind set and that's where it starts. You don't have to let depression take over your life. I am going to list some habits and activities that has helped me with depression and from preventing it.

SOME THINGS THAT HELPED ME WITH DEPRESSION 

MEDITAITON

    Meditating is one of the best practices you can do to help with elevating your mood and raising your vibration. When you meditate, you are letting go and detaching from your thoughts, becoming aware of your body, and being present in the moment. Meditation involves focusing on the breath and becoming present in the moment. You let go of resistance to your thoughts. Some people think that during meditation you don't think at all, but that isn't true. During mediation, you are letting go of trying to control your thoughts. You let your thoughts come and go naturally. This allows for you to become aware of your thought patterns.You can then see what is going on in your subconscious mind. When you are aware of how you're mind works you can see what thinking habits need to be changed or expelled. I meditate everyday and my life is so much more positive and happy because of it.

CRYING 

Many people view crying as a weakness. I've heard people say they never cry. But crying is a form of purification and release. When you cry, you are releasing pain, trauma, and all that no longer serves you from your emotional body. We are made up mostly of water, about 60% so this makes sense. you hold in your tears, you are suppressing your emotions and holding them in. This can numb you or keep you a slave to emotions that you can try to ignore, but they will come back to haunt you until you make peace with what you need to let go of. I cry a lot and I always feel so much better after. When you cry you are also releasing endorphins that reduce your pain. So when you're feeling sad, frustrated, or overwhelmed or heartbroken don't be afraid to cry. Let it all out, cry for an hour if you need to. Just make sure you drink a lot of water and stay hydrated.

CREATIVITY

Your soul longs to express itself. One of the best ways to bring yourself joy is to create. Whether that is painting, singing, dancing, drawing, writing, or cooking. Your soul is in alignment when you are creating. That is what we came here to do, to create. When I was depressed I would write poetry and it was the best way I could channel my true emotions and express myself. Being proud of what you are creating will put you in a better mood and boost your vibration. It's all about staying in alignment ;)

(My very first painting. My first time exploring my creativity behind the paint brush in my adult life. so proud.)

BEING OUT IN NATURE

    Yes! Being out in nature is key when you are depressed. Being outdoors and connecting with nature connects you closer to God. The sun will give you vitamin D which most definitely makes you happier. Most people who are depressed don't get enough sunlight. Which makes sense because most of the time you don't want to go out and do shit. Many people aren't aware of how connected we are to all living things on the earth. One way to ground yourself is to walk barefoot on some grass, or any earth surface. The earth releases negative electrons into the soles of your feet. This is a perfect way to purify your aura and energy. This is also a great form of antioxidants entering the body to heal any inflammation and disease. Inflammation in the body is one of the causes of depression. Get outdoors and don't be afraid to get a little sweaty and dirty ;)

(My favorite place in the world. The beach. Closer to Yemaya <3)

CHANGE YOUR DIET

    Changing your diet and eating healthier will help to get rid of your depression. If you are not eating healthy, this can affect your mind, body and spirit. Your gut is your second brain. So if you are polluting it with toxic unhealthy foods, it will have an effect on your mental health and the way you are thinking. Especially if you are eating meat, you are greatly affected by the exchange of negative energy you are absorbing from the animal you are eating.  Most of the animals you consume live horrific and sad lives. Energy cannot be destroyed so you are what you eat. Shifting your diet and including more plant based foods will have a big impact on your health. It is important to consume foods with a high vibration, these foods gain their energy directly from Source. (aka the Sun or God.) Ever since I've become a pescatarian I have noticed a HUGE difference in my mind, body and spirit. I am so much more happy over all and I have amazing energy. I feel more connected to my higher self. I also exercise regularly. Exercising regularly will increase your mood as well. Working out is a form of meditation as you are focusing on the body. When you exercise you are releasing toxins from the body and good endorphins are released into the blood stream which is an instant mood booster. A healthy diet and exercise go hand in hand for overall good health. Take care of  and respect your temple!

  

(sweet vegan meatballs with baked sweet potato, rice and kale)

(pescatarian meal by chef Makaykay. fish tacos. mmm.)

   I pray for the world and all of you that may be dealing with depression right now. It can be the loneliest feeling in the world, but you are not alone. We are all dealing with trauma at some degree within our lives. Let's take the time to be gentle with ourselves and love one another. Be patient with your healing process.Take time to develop self care habits and find hobbies and activities that will boost your happiness. Life is beautiful. Out of darkness comes light and I hope you all find your light because we are all radiant beings. I love you all so much. Thank you

Namaste,

  Makaela Reve Heard <3

P.s. LOVE YO SELF